Two members of his family, an aunt and a cousin, emailed me a few weeks ago with condolences, saying they don’t know what happened (and don’t want to; because that’s the WASPy way!) but that they were sorry to hear it. His dad and brother-in-law had vaguely reached out via email and text, respectively, before Xmas, but I didn’t realize then that they knew we were over when I thought we were working things out. This is from an email exchange I’ve been having with a close friend of his/his family. VERY interesting.
Let’s just say that one of my frustrations - and I have a few - with [That Fucking Guy] is that he thinks there’s a “logical” explanation to everything, and as you said, can’t deal with a feeling at all. He uses his intellect to justify anything he doesn’t understand, and he won’t admit to not understanding most things. And if his logic fails him and he still doesn’t understand things, he dismisses them with a pithy opinion and ends the discussion. That kind of intransigence makes my blood truly boil, and I’m willing to bet it’s similar for you.
This gal is one smart cookie. She also went on, in a later email, to say
You know, I’m really sad to hear that [That Fucking Guy] didn’t learn how to apply partnership through the rough times while he was with you. I thought you were good for him, and you seemed really good together. However, I also wondered just how much you were putting up with! I get that no one’s perfect, and that all problems are co-constructed between couples - none of us are just “put-upon women” :-). However, I’ve never thought of [That Fucking Guy] as someone who would be easy….
Girl preaches TRUTH!